Saturday Night Live - Season 31 (2005)

Sketches include: A Message From the Vice-President of the United States, Lance Armstrong Monologue, Celebrity Iron Man, Totally Rad Smoke Detector 3000, The Indigo Girls (with Sheryl Crow cameo), The O'Reilly Factor, Weekend Update with guests Finesse Mitchell, Scott Podsednik, and Mrs Butterworth, A Song for Sheryl (with Sheryl Crow cameo), Days of Our Lives, Carol!, Hit Man. Sheryl Crow performs "Good Is Good" and "Strong Enough". Maya Rudolph is absent for maternity leave.

Sketches include "Hardball", "JJ Casuals", "Good Morning Meth", "The Falconer", "Thomas & Dobbins", "The Soaking Wet Killer", "Refurbishments", "Butt Pregnancy", "Stachin'", "McNutly & Sons", and "American Tasar". Foo Fighters perform "DOA" and "Best of You".

Fox News Special Report: Bush in China, Eva Longoria Monologue, Totally Rad Smoke Detector 3000 (repeat), The Spammies, Deep House Dish, Morgan Stanley (repeat), The Needlers: College Reunion, Variety Vault: Vincent Price Thanksgiving, Weekend Update featuring guests Jean Schmidt and Steve Jobs, Desperate Housewives Vanity Fair Shoot, Trapped in the Closet II, The Engelhard Five, Firmium. Korn performs "Twisted Transistor" and "Freak on a Leash". Maya Rudolph absent for maternity leave.

Sketches include: Tree Re-Lighting Special, Dane Cook Monologue, School Announcements, Taco Town (repeat), The Long Ride Home: The Jay Feely Story, Wool Sweater, Lettuce: An SNL Digital Short, Target Greatland, Weekend Update with guests Rachel Dratch and Michael Irvin, The Coma, Fight Back with Victor Ramos, Morgan Stanley (repeat). James Blunt performs "You're Beautiful" and "Goodbye My Lover". Maya Rudolph is absent on maternity leave.

Saddam in Prison, Alec Baldwin's 12th Monologue, Commercial Parody: Tylenol BM, TV Funhouse: Celebrity Mugshot Poker, O'Reilly Factor, Carol Goes Bowling, Glengarry Glen Christmas.

Jack Black Monologue, Blown, TV Funhouse: Christmastime for the Jews, Lazy Sunday: An SNL Digital Short, Two A-Holes Buy a Tree, Spelling Bee.

Chandeliers, Sweet Sixteen, Deep House Dish: Johansson, Engagement Ring, Mr. Willoughby.

Sketches include: Anderson Cooper 360, Peter Sarsgaard Monologue, Commercial Parody: Nelson Baby Toupees, Target Greatland, Pirate Convention, Carol!: Art Gallery, Young Chuck Norris: An SNL Digital Short, Cat Fancy Magazine, Weekend Update: Gore and Kerry, Weekend Update with guest Drew Barrymore, Gays in Space (opening performed by Will Forte), Fairmont Suites Inn (with technical gaffes), National Security Agency, Peter Sarsgaard's SARS Guards. The Strokes perform "Juicebox" and "You Only Live Once". Maya Rudolph absent on maternity leave.

Steve Martin's fourteenth time hosting. Maya Rudolph's first episode back from maternity leave. Paula Pell's return to the writing staff after her sitcom "Thick and Thin" is not picked up. Sketches include: The Sabotage of Baldwin: An SNL Digital Short, Steve Martin Monologue, Commercial Parody: A Teddy Bear Holding A Heart, Oprah with Stone Freeman, Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford, Hamas Victory Party, Close Talkers: An SNL Digital Short, Quick Zoom Theater, Weekend Update, Superbowl XL Rehersals, Lorne's Office, The Prince Show, State of the Galaxy 2145, Tangent: ...

Natalie Portman hosts this episode and Fall Out Boy is the musical guest. The Cold Opening is a Message from President George W. Bush(Will Forte) who addresses the public on issues of secret White House activity and Vice-President Dick Cheney's(Darrell Hammond) hunting accident. Natalie Portman's Monologue consists of her tackling questions raised by "Star Wars" nerds in the audience. Repeat of Nelson Baby Toupees commercial from January 21, 2006, which spoofs Hair Club For Men commercials. Three over-psyched Jamba Juice employees (Portman, Seth Meyers, Horatio Sanz),...

Sketches include: Spring Break Cold Open, Matt Dillon Monologue, Prisonmates.net, Sportscenter, Doppelganger: An SNL Digital Short, Two A-Holes at a Travel Agency, How to Order Sushi Like a CEO, J.J. Casuals (repeat), Joplin: Alive Podcast, Weekend Update with guests Farad Nsar and Will Forte, TV Land Variety Vault: Vincent Price's Thanksgiving, Inner Harmony Relaxation Tape, Appalachian Emergency Room, DeCicco Brothers Unicornery. Arctic Monkeys perform "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor" and "A Certain Romance".

Sketches include: Anderson Cooper 360, Antonio Banderas Monologue, Basic Instinct 2, Deal Or No Deal, Operator Date, Besos Y Lagrimas, The 13th Annual Women's Basketball Coaches' Fashion Awards, Weekend Update with guests Dan Rather, Finesse Mitchell, Chad Michael Murray and Chris Kattan, Zorro, Karaoke, The Plan, Wine Enthusiasts. Mary J. Blige performs "Be Without You" and "Enough Crying". Maya Rudolph does not appear.

Lindsay Lohan's third time hosting. Sketches include: The Situation Room Cold Open: White House Staff Shake-ups, Lindsay Lohan Monologue, Commercial Parody: Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream, Deep House Dish, TV Funhouse: Journey to the Disney Vault, The O'Reilly Factor, Le Rendezvous: Chocolate Vesuvius, Laser Cats: An SNL Digital Short, Weekend Update with guests Stormy Windbreaker and Taylor Hicks, Debbie Downer: Bachelorette Party, Introvert's First Night Out, Turner Classic Movie Archives: Atlantic City Fever. Pearl Jam performs "World Wide Suicide" and "Severed Hand". ...

Tom Hanks' eighth time hosting. Sketches include: Bill Frist's Gas Plan, Tom Hanks Monologue, Wheel of Fortune, Kaitlin: Eli's Iguana, My Testicles: An SNL Digital Short, Universal Theme Park, Weekend Update with guest Rosie O'Donnell, Weekend Update: Debate between Drs. Gunther and Patrick Kelly, Yoga Partner, C-Span After Dark: Colin's Place, Tennis Partners. Red Hot Chili Peppers perform "Dani California" and "Give It Away"

Former cast member Julia Louis-Dreyfus' first time hosting, promoting "The New Adventures of Old Christine". Sketches include: Parallel Universe Address from President Gore Cold Open, Julia Louis-Dreyfus Monologue (with guests Jason Alexander and Jerry Seinfeld), Tech Pack, Bum Attention, The Morning Show, MySpace Class, Weekend Update: Debate between Al Gore and Amy Poelher, Weekend Update with guests Wolfgang Fey, Finesse Mitchell and David Blaine, Charades Game Show, Unsolved Mysteries, Bullhorn: An SNL Digital Short. Paul Simon performs "How Can You Live in a ...

Kevin Spacey's second time hosting. Sketches include: Anderson Cooper 360, Kevin Spacey monologue, Two A-Holes at a Crime Scene, Oprah Winfrey's Legends Ball Special, Carol!, TV Funhouse: All-New Presidential Outtakes, Andy and Kevin: Usual Suspects, Weekend Update with guests Taylor Hicks and Whitney Houston, The Falconer: Time Traveling, Andy Walking: An SNL Digital Short, Legends of History: Phillip Sarc, Neil Young's 'I Do Not Agree With Many of This Administration's Policies'. Nelly Furtado with Timbaland performs "Promiscuous" and "Maneater".