It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 2 (1975)

Williams hatches a mean plan to get the men into trouble by arranging a gig with free food for them at the Kama Sutra Club, a disreputable local establishment which is out of bounds to the soldiers. To avoid detection they enter the club dressed as military policemen but the show goes down very badly and ultimately is raided because of the naughty goings-on upstairs. The men put on their military police uniforms in order to escape but Williams, who has also gone to the club to rescue Parkin, is left wearing a clown's outfit.

Williams evicts the Sadhu, a holy man, from the parade ground and bangs in the nails on his bed of nails with a hammer. The Sadhu puts a curse on him, saying he will not sleep without pain so the men trade on this by putting itching powder in his bed. Then Williams really seems to believe that he is cursed. The only way to lift the curse is to get another holy man to cancel it, but they all want paying, so Gloria dresses as a holy man and gets Williams to chant "Oh wata nass iam" to restore him to normal.

Colonel Reynolds is conducting an affair with the wife of a colleague, Daphne Waddilove-Evans, whose Chinese maid Ling Su is acting as a go-between for their correspondence. When Williams sees Ling Su he is very taken by her and arranges a date with her in the moonlight. The men hear of this and decide to follow and take a compromising photograph but, due to a series of accidents, Williams is photographed with Daphne instead. Solly clears things up by explaining it was all a rehearsal for a farce they were staging.

Whilst Williams is getting his smart new uniform Solly is auditioning snake charmers,one of whose cobras escapes and ends up under Williams's bed. Williams is urged to keep playing the snake charmer's flute and moving it about to stop the cobra attacking him. Rumzan joins him but unfortunately attracts another snake. The cobras have to be shot but this also involves putting bullet holes in Williams's new uniform.

Sheltering from monsoon rain in a temple once used by the Thugs, a murderous religious sect from the previous century, the group discover a statue of Devi, the sect's goddess, with rubies for eyes. Everybody makes their own efforts to steal the rubies but, come the morning, Rangi explains that the temple's curator will sell them for 500 rupees, which the men club together to raise. Rangi and the curator then split the money before putting two more fake rubies in the statue's eyes.