In Sickness and in Health - Season 3 (1987)

Min and Gwenneth pay Alf another visit,Gwenneth as confused as ever as she mistakes Alf for a doctor and takes her skirt off and,in the pub,mistakes Arthur for an old boyfriend. Back at the house the sisters hold a seance which Winston and his boyfriend use to make Alf believe he is possessed by an evil spirit before faking a conversation with God,who persuades Alf to give the women his bed for the night.

At the local old time dance afternoon Alf is challenged to fight ageing Lothario Fancy Fred by two merry widows who end up fighting each other but Alf has his chance to threaten Fred when Fred parks his van on the pavement outside the house. However when Alf gets his legs wedged on the window ledge as he tries to clean the window Arthur and Winston see Fred's van as a means of escape. Fred has other ideas though and Alf has a landing of a different sort.

On a boiling hot summer day Alf goes to the DHSS to complain that he should have had more money in last winter's heating allowance for living in an end terrace but it cuts no ice. Back home he joins his friends watching cricket on television and falls asleep,loudly dreaming that he has been knighted for his services to the game. He wakes up to general derision and the knowledge that he has been exposed for stealing the eggs from next door's hens.

Alf is spending Christmas in hospital for a hip replacement but his visitors' scare stories of what could go wrong propel him into fleeing from the ward dressed as a woman - which incurs a drunk's unwanted attention. Back at the house he is outraged when Mrs Hollingbery's sister turns up after his room, being told that he is not expected to live, but all is forgiven when Mrs Hollingbery invites everybody upstairs for a Christmas party. Unfortunately he has forgotten the loose stair rod and ends up back in the hospital.