Only When I Laugh - Season 3 (1981)

Believing that Glover is lonely Figgis writes an anonymous letter in character as Glover to agony aunt Clare Butterfield, who is annoyed by the writer's arrogance. However Glover has answered a want ad and is expecting a visit from free-thinking Leonora. Much confusion arises when Glover mistakes occupational therapist Mrs Roper-Jones for Leonora and is later visited by Ms. Butterfield herself. Figgis accidentally ends up having a wild time with Leonora but Glover is about to write another letter to the agony aunt to exact revenge.

Norman witnesses an accident outside the hospital gates involving Dr Thorpe and young speed freak Ronnie though it is the doctor who would appear to be in the wrong when his breath sample taken by the attendant traffic cop proves positive for alcohol. Figgis and Glover stage a mock court trial to get Norman to divulge the truth though it is Gupta who actually sets the record straight, before Norman sees another accident - this time caused by the policeman.

Norman has been keeping a diary and Figgis and Glover are anxious to see what he has written about them. On stealing the diary from him they find that most of the entries are fantasies in which Norman is the brave patient soothing everybody else's nerves, as well as inventing a romance between himself and the notoriously icy Nurse Bradley. However when Nurse Bradley also reads the diary Norman is in for a pleasant surprise.

Figgis takes exception to the anodyne hospital radio run by nurse Victoria Plumtree and, when she accidentally leaves her recording equipment in the ward, spices things up by taping and broadcasting one of Dr Thorpe's tirades. Having persuaded Victoria to allow him to record his own show he gets Glover and Norman to roam the hospital in search of stories - and gets one when they accidentally stumble upon Victoria's passionate meeting with Dr Thorpe and allow the whole hospital to hear their emotional outpourings.

On Christmas Eve the ward gets a new patient, eight year old elected mute Danny, whose parents are abroad and is a known arsonist. Figgis dresses up as Santa Claus to steal presents for him from the children's ward but is rumbled and has to escape, getting the benefits of kisses from nurses who mistake him for the hospital's other Santa, Dr Thorpe. Eventually Dr Thorpe brings Danny some Christmas cheer and accidentally gets him talking again.