Nostalgia Critic - Season 9 (2016)

Shyamalan Month closes out with a look at M. Night's most notoriously bad film of the new millennium. No, not The Village. It's Lady in the Water. If you thought The Happening was Shyamalan's most hilariously awful movie ever made - it still is, but this one is a runner up. Join the Nostalgia Critic as he dives in to a pool of madness, mayhem and wacky hijinks as only the Master can bring.

There are two types of people in this world: those who like Disney's Tangled, and those who like Disney's Frozen. The Nostalgia Critic intends to find out which side is more popular and why.

The 1986 film Labyrinth is an under-appreciated and little known movie that deserves more recognition. So, the Nostalgia Critic steps in to give us our dose of nightmare fuel for the week as we look back on this insane, preposterous, but incredibly creative gem.

Enough is enough. The Nostalgia Critic takes a break from talking about movies and TV shows and joins other Internet reviewers who discuss a system that has long since been broken and continues to go unfixed. YouTube's bullshit copyright system that doesn't recognize Fair Use. The Critic and his band of rights-violated reviewers diagnose the problem, educate viewers on the situation, and propose a solution.

The Nostalgia Critic goes to Hell where he helps Satan learn how to be cool. Lesson 1 is to NOT be like the 1997 cinematic abomination Spawn. It's based on a really cool comic series but, like most cool comic series, it got turned into a horrific cash-in movie. They made every mistake in the book...by not reading it first.

Gawrsh, the Nostalgia Critic exposes a side of Goofy that most people today have never seen. While he's marketed as a lovable, clumsy, baggy-pants knucklehead, he was actually at one point very tough, aggressive, belligerent, violent, and partook in some very adult humor. Yes, Disney was for adults too at one point. The Critic looks back on the golden days of this bumbling man-dog hybrid to see just how brilliant he really was. Ha-yuk.

The Nostalgia Critic is going to the dogs. Just look what the cat dragged in. Cliched sayings aside, the Critic looks at a family movie about cats and dogs who are undercover spies in a secret battle to stop the felines from global domination in a threadbare story with terrible CGI effects. Time for this film to be de-clawed and neutered.

This week, the Critic is sssssssssmokin' by sharing with us the gory roots of the 1994 Mask movie. No jokin'. The Jim Carrey movie may have been all fun and games, but the source material is bar none disturbingly and sadistically violent. Hold on to your stomachs as the Critic of Nostalgia draws comparisons between the comic and the film, and guarantees that you won't look at that wacky green guy the same way ever again.

The Nostalgia Critic joins Shark Jumping to review a musical movie that definitely jumped the shark. What better way to present this insult to Broadway than for Team NC and Shark Jumping to recreate scenes of the movie and sing their own versions of the songs to show that internet reviewers can do better at recreating art than a whole big-budgeted movie studio can.

Everybody loves movie trailers, and the Nostalgia Critic is no exception. Sometimes the trailer is better than the movie itself, as it warrants just as many reactions and emotions, if not more. Join the Critic as he examines recent film trailers, how they're put together, compares them with the movie they were advertising, and determines if our expectations are just or simply misled.

Against his better wishes, the Nostalgia Critic reluctantly reviews The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Big failure. Colossal atom bomb. And since nobody gives a crap about this movie now or ever, the Critic channels that feeling of non-caring by literally phoning in the review so he can gear up for an upcoming crossover. But what is Pluto Nash about? Nothing important. The Critic will give this bad movie a beatdown - sorry, wrong show.

Was That Real returns with a short-lived series many people wish was not real. The Critic looks at a loathed, unwanted network mandated crossover with Pinky and the Brain and Elmyra from Tiny Toons. Though it is crap, the Critic manages to point out a few things that did work. When that's done, he goes to prepare for Tuesday night. What's he going to do on Tuesday night? Same thing he does every Tuesday night: try and take down a movie loathed all over the world.

The Nostalgia Critic and Angry Joe team up to tear apart a long-awaited crossover movie event that was handled very poorly. Despite each having a different opinion of Batman vs. Superman, they still confront Zack Snyder and show him why the movie was weak, why none of it worked, and most of all, why Jesse Eisenberg was a terrible casting choice for Lex Luthor.

Sometimes audiences love a movie the critics hate, and visa versa. Some movies started out as failures and later became successes. On the flip side, a movie hated upon release later becomes a classic. What's the deal here? Well, there is no one better to analyze the minds of audiences and critics alike, being the best of both worlds, than the Nostalgia Critic himself.

Comic book movies were hit or miss, especially in the late '90s. The Nostalgia Critic decides to look back on one of the more darker comic films from 1998: Blade. A dark, but very cheesily manufactured yarn about an anti-hero vampire who hunts other vampires.

The Critic pays tribute to the lesser-known and horribly underrated Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, which he holds to be the definitive Batman movie. Everything about it works and it encompasses all of the Dark Knight's mythos and delves into the character like no screen adaptation did before. So then, why is it overlooked? It's a huge mystery, so this looks like a job for Batman. But he's not available, so the Nostalgia Critic will have to get to the bottom of this.

It's bippity-boppity-bogus as the Nostalgia Critic is forced to team up with the embodiment of psychotic infatuation herself: Hyper Fangirl, to compare and contrast both film versions of Disney's Cinderella. Critic leans more toward the animated film while Fangirl leans toward the live action. The battle of the sexes is on.

The Critic tackles the sensitive subject of "white washing": such as, casting a white person in a different ethnic role. But he takes it a few steps further and addresses all the different combinations: tall people playing short people, black people playing white people, adults playing children, and so forth. It's an old trick, which people still get offended by - some times more than others. Why is that? Why are some instances okay but others go overlooked? Don't worry, the Nostalgia Critic will ski down this slippery slope to determine which wash works and why.

The Nostalgia Critic puts on his 3D glasses to review a film flattened down to 2D and is incredibly 1D. The unnecessary third installment of the Spy Kids series may have brought the 3D gimmick back to the big screen, but it just used it in such obnoxious, unimaginative and insipid ways. And to prove that point, the Critic has the three embodiments of the 3D gimmick to pester him while he reviews.

Disney and their princesses have been a mainstay in cinematic culture for decades, and within that time, many casual viewers and bonafide obsessives have taken to creating their own conspiracy theories on the characters and their surroundings, up to and including many stories happening in the same universe. Are these theories sound? Possible? Or just garbled fanboy and fan-girl hoopla? The Critic is here to cite 11 of these theories and weigh in on the possibilities himself.

If there was one thing Jem and the Holograms fans wanted it was a live action film version - back in the '80s. Not 30 years later when most people hadn't even heard of the cartoon, especially the people making the movie. Trampling on the source material of a once popular franchise for a quick buck--which it didn't even make. And who better to review and analyze this pretentious knife in the eye of nostalgia than the Critic himself.

Was That Real returns with a crossover classic from Dr. Seuss. With two of his most popular characters coming together, you know a wonderful idea got loose. The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat, and here is the Nostalgia Critic to tell us about that. Despite lack of focus, it's a wonderful animated tale. He recommends you check it out soon without fail.

It's time for the Nostalgia Critic to fend off the demons of his past, or in this case, one demon, and review the horrible cash-in sequel to Scooby-Doo. There are good jokes, but with bad delivery, and a story with potential that is horribly wasted for cheap gags and overcompensation. All are put on display in this mysterious museum of woe and shame. This movie is ineffectual, worthless, mindless and stomps all over our childhoods. And the producers would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for that meddling Critic.

Is the 1984 film Amadeus a piece of historical fiction, or a true biographical depiction of the life and works of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart? Well, while the Nostalgia Critic isn't a music buff or history buff, he does know his movies, and as he conducts his study on how the movie was put together, how the story was focused and how much of its events are backed up by other sources, and which are not, he will determine whether or not this movie speaks the truth, or is a masterful piece of Hollywood hogwash.

Break out the ear plugs and the booze, the Nostalgia Critic is reviewing that horrible 2007 Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. To expect anything at all from this run-of-the-mill cash-in mess would be expecting too much. And being a fan of the classic Chipmunks, the Critic despises the movie, and has to clash with the 'awwing' girlie-girls who adore films about cute little animals.

Even though some movies are bad, they can also be good. And on the other hand, some movies are good, but they can also be bad. What's makes a good movie bad? And what is so bad about being good, or good about being bad? The Nostalgia Critic is here to get to the bottom of this as he exposes the good, the bad, and the so good it's bad.

The Nostalgia Critic and friends gear-up to bust the latest unasked-for reboot of a popular franchise.

This week, the Nostalgia Critic revisits an "old friend" who terrorized and tried to kill him 8 years ago. That's right, that creepy talking teddy from our youths: Teddy Rupxin. The Critic talks about a time in which Teddy got his own show which, before becoming animated, featured live-action costumed characters. Although the effects were impressive, it didn't make the show, nor characters, any less creepy. Was that real? Sadly, yes.

Now this is a story all 'bout how Will Smith's career got flipped, turn upside down, and after a few good movies that were a success, came a really bad flick called Wild Wild West. You remember that one, right? Will Smith as a cowboy and - a mechanical spider - and that's about it. Not even the Nostalgia Critic will care to remember this one.

When people think of Looney Tunes movies, they usually think of Space Jam. However, there were other Looney Tunes movies - besides Back in Action. And so the Nostalgia Critic takes us back to the late '70s to the late '80s for a look at some lesser-known, but much better made Looney Tunes movies.

The Nostalgia Critic teaches us today that just because something looks stupid and bizarre doesn't necessarily mean it's stupid and bizarre. A show or movie may look abominable to the eye, but very fulfilling to the brain. He runs through a series of examples to prove his point, showing how and when making something that looks stupid but is actually brilliant can work well and when it simply alienates your audience. Weird may be the new brilliant, and who better to prove that than a weird, brilliant man?

Remember the Titanic? Remember the animated Titanic? Remember the sequel to the animated Titanic? On a day that was a long time coming, the Nostalgia Critic dives deep into the sea of woe to review the 2004 sequel to the 1999 animated Titanic that features the lost city of Atlantis and rapping sharks. Man the life boats. Women and Critics first.

What defines a movie rating? Bad language, sexual content, violence, adult themes. But what happens when the ratings scale changes slightly and what was once considered G is now PG? The Nostalgia Critic looks back on the history of the PG rating which encompassed many hardcore films such as Jaws, Gremlins and Raiders of the Lost Ark, and compares it to newer, much tamer films like Inside Out and Frozen, all of which received the PG rating. Why suggest parental guidance for one film, but not another? Here to examine the history of the alphabetized rating system is the ...

Hey, watch the Critic pull a terrible movie out of his hat. At long last, he reviews the highly requested 2000 live-action film adaptation of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Terrible film, awful acting, awful jokes, forced cameos, they got everything wrong, right? It has earned its reputation of a horrible film and rightfully hated as such, right? Hold on to your antlers, the Critic may have discovered the golden nugget in this mound of moose droppings.

What's this? What's this? Skellingtons everywhere. What's this? There's profit in the air. What's this? Why it's the Nightmare Before Christmas, that little movie about two holidays that exploded into a cultural phenomenon. To open Nostalgiaween 2016, the Nostalgia Critic looks back on ol' Jack Skellington and all the wacky, macabre and clever characters from this 1993 stop-motion blockbuster to determine if it's worth all of its enormous praise and notoriety.

What would Nostalgiaween be without Stephen King? Time to break out the alcohol and check out another filmed abomination of one of his classic works. Today, Nostalgia Critic looks at some scary shit. Literally. The monster in the movie is actually shit that attack once it's been released via unsuspecting people's rectums. And who says King is running out of ideas?

The Critic counts down his favorite episodes of his new favorite show, Gravity Falls.

In his quest to find the perfect scary crossover movie, the Critic takes a break to watch Freddy vs. Jason. It was a horror crossover we all wanted, but does the final product really deliver? While not very scary, but containing plenty of violence, dark humor and all the tropes of a proper R-rated film, the Critic deems it a let down and goes back to work, where he stumbles upon the perfect scary crossover: a team-up of two men known for their wanton destruction, terror, and sloppiness of filmmaking.

The Nostalgia Critic discusses the part of a movie most people look forward to: the ending. Whether it's a good ending or a bad one, and sometimes a bad ending can ruin a movie...and in other cases, it can go unnoticed, considering how good the first two acts had been. What makes an ending ruin a film or in some cases a bad ending to be overlooked? The Critic will investigate.

This past summer, the world received the Ninja Turtles movie they'd been hoping for since the '80s. With plenty of familiar characters and machines, this should've been totally tubular, right? Well, for reasons unexplained, most moviegoers thought the film was a total bummer. So what rocked and what sucked? The Nostalgia Critic, Black Nerd and The Angry Video Game Nerd, three long-time, diehard Ninja Turtles fans come together to review it and find out.

Was an episode of Tiny Toons written by tiny tots? The Nostalgia Critic looks back on one instance when his beloved childhood favorite had an episode written by three 13-year-olds, and interviews one of them, now all grown up, to get the full scoop.

It's time for the annual station break, as the Nostalgia Critic sits back to view more wacky, hilarious, strange, bizarre, creepy and even somewhat dark commercials from days of yore. So many memories and weird vibes are revisited, like Tony the Tiger making you an athlete, the Burger King Kids Club being inclusive, kids going to outrageous lengths to steal their parents' waffles, Batgirl attempting to shatter the glass ceiling, and, while he finds a Canadian PSA that's innocent, he finds a British one that literally quite shocking.

The Nostalgia Critic recalls back to the days when Disney had a severe case of Sequel-itis, generating dozens of sequels to their timeless classics. It was an endless wave of unnecessary follow-ups that never seemed to tell us anything we wanted or needed to know. And so, because of this grave oversight, the Critic brainstorms ideas for the types of sequels we REALLY wanted, but never got.

Wowsers, Inspector Gadget saved Christmas once upon a time. The Nostalgia Critic says "Go-Go-Christmas Spirit" by reviewing the inspector's underrated Christmas special where he must save Santa who was captured by Dr. Claw as part of his master plan to ruin Christmas and take over the world. Of course.

There are those who say Christmas has become too commercial, and here are 12 Christmas commercials to prove it. Here are some merry words from our sponsor as the Nostalgia Critic continues his month-long celebration of his favorite holiday. This yuletide corporate stocking includes Folgers bringing about brother-sisterly love, the Spirit of Honey Nut Cheerios redeeming Ebeneezer Scrooge, scary dogs pushing candy, a Coca Cola convoy, K-Mart's ballsy jingle bells, and more.

The Critic reviews the long-requested Jonathan Taylor Thomas Christmas bomb I'll Be Home For Christmas, and it has more douches than a Summer's Eve commercial. It's about a smarmy little jackass who lies and cheats his way into a mess then has to get home for the holidays. And as if the douche-bag in the movie wasn't enough to jingle the Critic's bells, he's got another unlikable douche-bag bugging him while he's trying to conduct the review.

Rogue One is a smash at the box office and people are claiming it's the best Star Wars movie in years. And to celebrate its release and to cap off another successful year, the Critic teams up with Chris Stuckmann, and together with their own group of rogues, reenact parts of the movie to give their own insights on whether or not the Force is strong with this one.