Malcolm in the Middle - Season 5 (2003)

It's another family Thanksgiving, as Reese cons Hal and Dewey into helping him out with the cooking. Francis and Piama are also there, but they're not even speaking to each other. Lois tries to intervene, but it goes nowhere, as Hal prevents her from intervening. Soon after, all the family members start arguing with each other, claiming that this is the worst Thanksgiving ever. Meanwhile, Kirsten has invited Malcolm to her house party. He's having a blast without his family dragging him down and calls it the best Thanksgiving he's ever had in his life.

Malcolm's teacher forces him to secretly record Reese as he divulges his innermost secrets; Francis strikes back after a critic writes a scathing review about the hotel; Dewey starts his own novelty act at an outdoor mall; Hal's bosses are placed under arrest.

Lois gets Malcolm a job at the store, exposing Lois's well-kept secret; Hal and some other fathers start betting on babies; and sick of the way his brothers treat him, Dewey travels to the farm to visit Francis.

Hal and the boys enter the season of goodwill in a competitive spirit when the local church starts to undercut them on Christmas tree prices.

Malcolm realizes the entire neighborhood has been throwing a block party when the family leaves town for an annual vacation; Hal and Lois participate in a kielbasa-eating contest; neighborhood kids pay money for a chance at beating up Reese; and Otto acquires a device for "extracting seed" from a bull.

When Malcolm becomes editor of the high school literary magazine, the principal instructs him to censor a well-written story; Lois encourages Hal to flirt with a new supervisor so he can keep his job; Francis teaches Otto how to waltz; and Reese pulls a prank on Dewey.

Lois and Hal clash after Hal purchases a hot tub; Malcolm gets his driver's permit, only to get mixed up in a dispute between Polly and her ex-boyfriend; and Reese steals Dewey's friend.

Grandma Ida makes another conjugal visit at the Wilkerson house. This time she isn't alone as she walks in with her beau, Mr. Li a wealthy, widowed Chinese man whom she met at a cruise. Hal and the boys see this as an opportunity to get Ida off their backs once and for all. But Lois thinks that her mother is up to no good as usual. Meanwhile, Malcolm has just got his tongue pierced, but it gets infected right away so he can't say any words that involves an "s" in them. On the day of his grandmother's wedding, he confirms his mother's suspicions when he finds ...

Malcolm volunteers for the company's softball team, only to realize that Lois is the coach; Francis sets out to prove he's not lazy; and Hal interviews for a job at a company that might be recruiting secret agents.

Lois' younger sister, Susan, makes a surprise visit to the Wilkerson house. Immediately, she treats Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey like the sons she wishes she had with Hal instead of being single and alone. She also treats Lois as a plague in her life and blames her for being unmarried status. She tells the boys that ever since she caught their mother having sex with their father, she has refused to accept their relationship. However, Susan is plagued with a kidney disease and Lois tries to offer hers for her sister.

Lois has a dispute with Hal and the boys' favorite restaurant; Malcolm clicks with his girlfriend's family to the point where he forgets about his girlfriend; and Francis gets an assistant who tends to his every whim.

Reese is kicked out of home and soon discovers how expensive it is to rent an apartment. Meanwhile, Malcolm helps a football player apply for college.

Lois accompanies Malcolm to his first college visit, where she clashes with a resident advisor; Reese pretends he's a drug user to woo a pretty narcotics officer; Francis and Otto open their own childcare center; and Dewey constructs his own musical instrument.

Polly begins dating Abe and Craig; Malcolm refuses to believe in the power of Dewey's lucky shirt; the ranch hands make fun of Francis; and Lois takes the kids to a baseball convention.

Reese inadvertently perfects Malcolm and Stevie's science experiment, but can't remember how he did it; Dewey dreams up reasons for people to buy the candy he's selling door-to-door; and Francis aids a piglet.

When Dewey is in danger of joining the Krelboynes, Malcolm interferes with disastrous results. Meanwhile Hal 'discovers' his latest mania when he sees Craig dancing in a family restaurant.

Lois has just found out that she has a half-sister named Roberta and brings Reese, Jamie and Malcolm with her to meet their aunt and cousins. Her step-mother, Sylvia comments that she looks exactly like Victor and gives her a warm welcome. Despite some nervous moments between them, they're getting along great. Lois thinks it's going to be nice, quality time with them until a furious and vengeful, Ida arrives at the house to spoil everything. She has lost the court case and demands for Victor's pension from his secret family. Meanwhile Hal and Dewey plan to go racing ...

When Reese's girlfriend Beth cheats on him with Malcolm, he runs away to join the army; Meanwhile, Hal is arrested for supposedly hatching out an entire criminal scheme at his job.

Hal's trial continues as the evidence pointing against him grows; Meanwhile, at training camp, Reese and his team are captured by enemies because of Reese.