Chalk - Season 1 (1997)

Pupil Helen Williams has an inexplicable crush on Slatt and comes to school with her new twins,both called Eric,claiming Slatt is the father. New young R.I. teacher Jason Cockfoster is shocked by this impropriety,the more so when Slatt loses his trousers and demands the young teacher give him his. Jason finds Helen's scrapbook in praise of her idol Pumpman but when the police and the real father arrive at the school it is clear from the trouserless Slatt's attributes that he is not the stud Helen claims him to be.

Galfast High is awaiting an inspection and Slatt is only too aware that the inspectors are looking to close down one of the area's schools. Thus,when a trio of inspectors arrives,it is unfortunate that there are no pupils because Amanda has sacked them all. The staff make frantic efforts to stall the inspectorate whilst the pupils are rounded up but fortunately Suzy uses a little psychology to persuade the inspectors that they are so stressed out that they are unable to see the pupils even though they are there.

It's the day of the staff versus students football match and Suzy is appalled to see Slatt use dirty tricks to nobble the pupils' star player. Whilst in his study she sees an urn with his mother's name on it and assumes she is dead but it is merely wishful thinking on Slatt's part as,when mother arrives at the school,she is the spitting image of Janet. With the head also assuming that mother is dead Slatt behaves even more bizarrely than usual - especially when,due to his list of exclusions from the side,he is the only member of the teachers' football team.